My world has turned upside down

I posted this on my other blog but I'm just going to copy and paste it here because I don't have the energy to write it again.

But I have a really good reason for it. My husband was riding his motorcycle home from work when a driver ran a red light and broadsided him, sending him 30 feet through the air where he landed on his back. His left foot was crushed between his motorcycle and the car's bumper and when he landed on his back his T12 vertebrae suffered a serious fracture. He's home now but he's pretty banged up and has a number of surgeries ahead of him in the near future. It's been an exhausting few days for all of us here.

For my readers who are inclinded to pray, please do, and I thank you so much for it :)We'll be okay, we always bounce back thanks to God, but it's going to be a trial. It's going to be rough not having any real income for the next 6-12 months. I'd get a job but he needs so much care right now that I really can't. I know eventually that we'll get some sort of financial settlement from all of this to help pay all these medical bills but for now, it's going to be really difficult.

The hardest part for me, I think, has been the loss of my strongest support system at a time when I really need it. My husband is everything to me and at the end of a long day, his big bear hugs keep me going. Now that he's flat on his back all the time, his hugs are no longer possible. We take a shower together every single night and that simple action is something I look forward to all day, it's not sexual at all, just a few minutes for us to connect and be alone, to shut the world out and let us reconnect...and now that's gone. I feel kind of alone even surrounded by so many people who love and care for us because the one person I draw so much strength from is hurt and I can't do anything to make it better. It breaks my heart when I have to kiss him goodnight in the hospital bed we have set up at home and go to bed myself in our big bed. I cry every night because it's just not right. My heart tells me that something is so very wrong with that and I hate that it has to be that way. I hate not being able to reach over and touch him if I wake up in the night, I hate that I can't snuggle up beside him and feel his arms around me. This is the saddest I've been in so very long and my heart just hurts so bad.

Needless to say, my writing has come to a screeching halt. My brain is so tired from all the stress of the last few days that I couldn't conjure up a creative thought if someone handed me one. That said, I'm going to publish this post and go to bed because three hours from now comes very quickly :)

It's Raining...again.

It was beautiful yesterday, sunny and warm, and I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, spring was finally really here.

Nope. It's gone again. Today it's cold- 46 degrees- and rainy. I'm supposed to go to a birthday party BBQ this afternoon and I don't know that it's gonna happen. I know that sprin really is here- the yard is full of tulips, the cherry trees are full of blossoms, and my husband's allergies are going crazy- but it's so hard to enjoy it when it's always wet outside. I really can't wait for summer- warmth, dry days, taking the kids to the lake to swim, lazing around on one of the beaches that are just around every corner here on our island. Leaving the doors and windows open all day long, being too warm to sleep at night unless we have the fan blowing on us, BBQ's every night, fruits and veggies growing in the garden...I love summer. I would be so content and happy living in summer year round.

But alas, we still have another two months before we start seeing hints of summer here. So I'll just have to keep switching up the pictures on my desktop to sunny tropical images and dreaming of summer until it finally arrives.

Life is so sad sometimes

I got the news this morning that my dearest friend's dad has officially received the Terminal diagnosis as of yesterday. They had such hopes of him being okay and getting better after the surgeries but the doctors just keep finding more cancer and Kim just keeps getting weaker and sicker. It's heart breaking. I only met the man one time six years ago but during that one meeting he left a lasting impression on me. He reminds me so much of my own daddy that hearing this news broke my heart. I wanted so badly to see him healthy doing fine when I fly out there in five weeks but now I don't even know if he'll be alive in that time.

Most of all my heart breaks for my dearest friend Rene. She is a Daddy's girl and this news is devistating to her. My heart breaks for Kim's mom who has become my penpal during the 6 years since I met her and she has to be crushed by this setback. And for Jenni, Kim's wife, I've never met her but I've talked to her through MySpace and she seems such a sweet lady, to have this news dropped on her like a most unwelcome bomb must be tearing her heart up. These people are my second family and I miss them, and I wish more than anything that I could be there in Kentucky right now supporting them through this terrible news. But I can't be, I'm 2400 miles away crying and wishing I could do something more substantial.

Cancer is so brutal and devistating. It's an epidemic that affects nearly everyone in the world at some point or another, if not personally, then certainly because someone they know is stricken. I've lost many loved ones already and this is another blow, another loss, another heartache that have to live through and cope with. And it makes me sad and a little angry that this wonderful family is having to endure such tradgedy and unfathomable sadness.

Introducing Me

I have another blog but it's more about my writing career and not so much about my opinions of life and everyday things. So this blog is all about my opinion. Yep, and since it's my blog, I get to 'voice' my opinion without fear that someone is going to jump down my back and attack me because it doesn't line up with their opinion. So, that's the purpose of this blog. So that I, a married mom with 4 kids, could have a place to vent and express my opinions about life in the world around me. Things I read in the news, things I experience personally, things I hear about...those are the things I'll be commenting on here on this blog. So read if you'd like, or not...that's okay too. Feel free to comment on what you read and express your own opinions but understand that I reserve the right to delete your comments if you get nasty about disagreeing with me :)